Fun, We Are All One Family, We Love The Oldest Parents

My Schizophrenia Led Me To A Curious Result

As I have mentioned in previous posts I have a mental disability called schizophrenia.

My mind processes memories and voices in a difficult way.

It is something many people have from what I have been told.

Tonight my schizophrenia echoed to me a curious pondering.

A question was raised as

“What would I think if Yodh He Waw He also known as God was not the oldest parent, but just older than me?”

It didn’t directly come in those words, just the general attitude of the question.

I decided to entertain the question, hoping I could say something nice, polite, and good.

After considering it for a while I kind of came to 2 different notes that define my answer.

I guess as the first thought I have about how I would feel if he wasn’t the oldest parent, is that I like him, I like him for his charisma and intelligence.

He doesn’t have to be the oldest parent to be charismatic and intelligent.

The way he is he has built himself to be, maybe also supplemented with interactions from others but his personality is something I enjoy as a friend.

His stories in the Bible and Tanakh are quite fun and smart, he largely influenced them.

So does number in the family tree responsibility all of that?

I have to consider, I have some charisma and intelligence, so maybe number born is not the majority influencer.

In short, my first thought is, even if he weren’t the Oldest Parent, I would honestly want him as a friend.

Okay so that’s the first area of thought I have, try to bear with me through this I have something else to say of it that might entertain you, and I would just like to say of this whole post, no offense is meant.

So the other thought I have is Yodh He Waw He in his 10 commandments instructs that worshipping him is good.

But in our scenario of what if, we were considering how if possible he were an ancestor but not the oldest.

This is a difficult emotion for me.

When I self define what worship is for me to use I kind of have a large description to do it for the Oldest Ancestor and their marital partner.

But, to be honest I can admit it is a fun and loving thing to do, having quite the pure emotion and heart involved with the deed.


Now in this thought train I have to estimate if he were not the Oldest Parent what would I do with worship?

Im going to consider this.

I as a young child was raised Christian.

I sang songs in church that worshipped Jesus.

As I got older I leaned Jewish and stopped worshipping Jesus as much and centered more around God (Yodh He Waw He).

But as a child I can say nowadays that I remember back then how much I enjoyed worshipping Jesus.

The main reason I partially stopped is due to a desire to not displease or get in trouble.

Now here’s the thing, lets compare two notes.

In this scenario we are saying what if he were not the Oldest Parent, but in the 10 commandments he also says its good to worship him.

So how do I feel about this.

Surprisingly it gives me a feeling of,

“This is an opportunity to worship someone I love and not get in trouble for it”

Weird thought yes? Maybe not.

The thing is for a large part of my life I have reserved worship for the Oldest.

But if an ancestor such as Yodh He Waw He were to give me approval, well that’s one of my parents being a parent and having the responsibility of the two of us.

So if he were not the Oldest Parent, yet he were to tell me to worship him, I could kind of in that way have some more freedom, that as myself I otherwise would have limited.

This then brings up the question, “Is it worthy to worship someone who is not the Oldest?”

Well, we worship Jesus and it puts smiles on our faces and giggles in church buildings so it cant be bad,

Schizophrenia is a bit difficult sometimes, but tonight it has given me these deep considerations and I am not unhappy with the result.

If Yodh He Waw He were not the Oldest I could still have him as a friend and adore him for his high quality of personality.

Admittedly even though I am saying I could possibly worship someone who were not the oldest and enjoy it, I still kind of reserve parts of my worship to be towards only the Oldest.

I love everyone, but their is a certain attachment a creation can have to its creator that is not the same as towards a sibling.

I guess its a fascination, maybe considering we already know what our sibling creations are such as but we expect our Creator is more mysterious, more special.

Well I hope I have entertained you and not offended you.

Times getting closer that I want to update some of the art in our free collection such as prayer backgrounds.

I’m planning to add some more but I may possibly wait to do it until after I get the 2nd dose of my covid vaccine in a few days.

Why am I waiting? Well, I could do it tonight but I am wanting a bit of rest from all the major updates and if I wait a few days that will give me enough time.

❤ Thanks For Reading, Much Love ❤

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